The "Bite Me" Fun Forum

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Aug 5, 2004 - 12:51AM

Dear Tech Support

From: Desperate

To: Tech Support

Subject: computer problems

Dear Tech Support

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs such as Romance 9.9, and installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3 and NHL 4.1. Conversation 8.0 also 2.6 no longer runs, and Housecleaning simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 6.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

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From: Tech Support

To: Desperate

Subject: RE: computer problems

Dear Desperate

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 was an entertainment package while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications, Guilt 3.3 and Flowers 7.5. However, please remember that overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to such background applications as Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. (Please note that Beer 6.2 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly WAV.) DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In fact, it could possibly cause Husband 1.0 to default to the program Girlfriend 9.2 which runs in the background and has been known to introduce potentially serious viruses into the operating System.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and can't learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to enhance his system performance. (I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Single Malt Scotch 4.5 combined with an application such as that old standby, Lingerie 6.9.)

Good Luck

Tech Support