A phoned Tam yesterday an he telt mi he wis gettin on fine,missin a wee swally but feelin braw.His wife phoned me an hour later to let me ken he's started pishin on the flair again and any donations of nappies,new or used would be most appreciated.Tam you tell some lies.

Ah ye canna fool you,by the way,ye talk some crap.

Better than pishin'in folks lockers Eck

Man Dennis,you've got tae lower the the tone,an onywy it wisni me ------ a dinni think it wis me---- wis it me?.Answer on a bit ****epaper.

Nice one,Dennis,think ye might huv touched a wee nerve there its terrible whit some fowk git uptae

Well Eck I never even dreamed it was you until you vehemently denied it Tam was it you?

Naw,it widni be oor Tam.His bladder wis workin fine then,mind you he's pishin awe oer the place noo so nibis that wis the start o hi s bit bother back then.Man ama no gled a dinni have the bed space next tae him noo,when ye got up in the mornin efter a nicht doon in the green windis ye widni be share if ye hid showered or no.

The bird fae the green windis aye Eck so you don't remember her name I bet you remember her beard touching your navel when she was looking up at your beautiful blue eyes while she was listening to dr hook singing carrie me carrie

sorry Eck i must learn not to post messages when pished on the red wine what a load of drivel

C'mone Dennis am no changin the habbit o a lifetime,a aye dae it when am pished,ye loose yer inhibitions an dinni bother whit ye type,as they say in Fife "it's the haws",bet oor Tam wid love tae be pished,never mind no be long noo,2 half pints and a couple o halfs an yer heed'll be burlin.That's some coincidense Dennis,a played that song in the Golf club on wednesday,amazin eh!canni mind o the burd wi the beard though,mibi she combed her chest hair up tae hide her rotten teeth.

Dennis,when ah think o you an wine ah think o a fine red an mibbe you havin a piece o chedder of the cheeseboard.An when ah think o 47 ah think o him sitten oan a parkbench at 9 in the moarin no shaved fur 3 days gettin stuck a boattle o buckie an eatin cheese an onion,the mans nae class

You can be a wee bugger when ye want tae be Thomas.

Aye Tam you got that one right and Eck from what you said you remember thon bird perfectly

Dennis,dinni be taken in by him,jist mind he wis the wan that shouted at ye,a wis the wan that stotted rowan berrys aff yer heed,some gunslinger eh!

Oh Eck Tam never shouted at me or anyone else he's just too nice a bloke,You indeed were the championi gunslinger with the rowan berries I'm intrigued with you singing dr hook solo or band? acoustic or electric? I'm doing that too

I Eck on the vin rouge again I forgot to say Ronnie Sinclair was the one who shouted by f**k he could shout

We have an acoustic open mic night in the golf club once a month,most of the time yer up on yeronio but sometimes two or three will play together,dinni get me wrong,am nae Eric Clapton but dae a care,I jist love playn the geetar,ave got a mandolin as well but a hivni been gettin intae it yet,sometimes a'll play it as a backin fer others.A've got 3 geetars,2 Tekamines an a Larravee,am goni sell that on ebay fer aboot a grand cause really 2's enough.O then there's ma wee electric that I used fer practicing ma bar chords but that's in the attic.Whit kind o stuff i you playin?.Sorry Tam am no ignorin ye,it's jist we are talkin aboot a skill that disni involve bullets or magazines,see we've moved on

Dennis, have ye tried "years from now"?, am fundin it hard tae get the beat o the chorus,have a go at it an let me ken howG D CaddD/ /D G /D /CaddD
Years from now, I want you years from now

/ D / / G / / B7 //CaddD / /A / / D (4 measures)
And I hold you years from now as I love you tonight

G //D /CaddD/ /D G //D/ CaddD
You are my on e true friend, always my on e true friend

/ D / / G / /B7 / / CaddD // A / / D //|///|
And I'll love you till life's end as I love you tonight

BRIDGE:

CaddD / / | / / / D / / | / /
I know this world that we live in can be hard

G B7 Em
Now and then and it will be again

A / / D (2 measures)
Many times weve been down

CaddD / / | / / / D / /| / / / G /
Still love has kept us together the flame never dies

/ B7 / / Em / / A / / D (4 measures)
When I look in your eyes the future I see

ye git on,then tell me how.Feelin Dank.

Ahve jist read yer last post jings yer a true romantic, but when ye were in the army ye telt us awe ye sang these kin o songs tae a lassie caed Denise noo yer singing tae a guy caed Dennis,ah weel they say its niver to late tae come oot the closet.Christ ahve niver laffed sae much as ah did readin that drivel,whit a load o pish

There ye go,a wis learnin that song tae sing tae you noo ye've spilt it,and Denise wis the burd you were wi in Dalry road,her wi the rubber leg.Mind it got stuck on the stairs in Fairlies and it booted f---k oot o 10 boys afore we could get it back on her an because she moaned that much aboot it we put it on back tae front,an when we back tae the dancin she kept complainin that folk were staunin on her toes.Minds me i you some folk are never happy,we could have left her tae hop hame

See you,yer aye spillin the beans aboot ma wierd wummin,fowk ill be thinkin ahm a sad case,ffs dinna tell them aboot the burd ah picked up wi plooks awe ower her face an nits in her hair ahll look a richt dumplin,anyhoo goat tae go, time fur ma piano lessons

Hi Eck Sorry to take so long I wasn't familiar with the song but I had it on cd. To me it just carries on with the chord changes and rythym as you go not much help I'm afraid.Anyway it has given Thomas a chance to try to get the better of you fat chance eh.I play a custom made telecaster in open G ala Keith Richards our wee band is called The Bicycle Thieves we're not even big in Grantown never mind Japan.We playloads of stuff from Stones beatles etc nothing too modern

Tam,she didni hae a heed,it wis jist a hairy plook wi a moothfae o custard.AN YOU USED TAE KISS HER,awe fer f---ks sake,nae wunder ye've got bother wi yer guts.

Dennis a got awe excited there,a wis gonni ask tae see ye then a seen it wis the name o yer band.Open tunin eh,is that where ye only play wi wan finger barrin?,di ye play the acoustic at all,mind you a like yer choise in music,the beatles are murder tae play on a wooden geetar.A dae various people,ccr,dr.hook,eagles,Glen campell och lots mair,some o the beatles earlier wans and some stones,giud name fer a band though,thieven b---ds.

Aye i have an old encore ovation copy three other acoustics a 1972 Burns short scale jazz guitar.I learned to play in normal tuning first then graduated to open G you can use all your fingers to make major and minor chords but they are usually different notes first in the chord so with another guitarist the sound is different.I sing a lot of the songs we do and the bass player is good at harmonies.I'm in the band with my friend the drummer who I met in 1959 on the first day of school.so that is my life story in a nutshell you know the rest.Fantastic memories of the army what a hoot.thanks for looking after my naieve former self